Auditions are by video upload. Auditions may be for a specific character or as an overall. Depending on which character, you may be required to include not only the monologue but also the song selection. Please use the appropriate set of monologue and song for your vocal range.
We will also need to know what level of dance for which you are comfortable, as that will help us determine which character you would be best suited for.
In your upload description, please include your full legal name, valid email address to contact you, vocal range, dance experience/preference, and which character(s) you are auditioning for. If you aren't auditioning for a specific character, please just put "general audition."
We will also be looking for stagehands/mobsters/goons, and all parts have critical roles to play.
if you have ANY question, please write us at info@omniexpo.com.
NOTE: The following monologes and songs are recommended for your audition but not required. If you choose something else, the monlogue may not be longer than one minute and songs no longer than 16 bars.
For the Men:
Monologue:
Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it? No? Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never *know* you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out.” [bangs on lid] "Hey you! What's your name? Come out of there!”
Song Selections:
High Register (Tenors/Baritones)
Lyrics:
When you start to get confused
Because of thoughts in your head
Don't feel those feelings!
Hold them in instead
Turn it off, like a light switch
Just go click!
It's a cool little Mormon trick!
We do it all the time
When you’re feeling certain feelings
That just don’t seem right
Treat those pesky feelings
Like a reading light
And turn 'em off
Like a light switch, just go bap!
Really, what's so hard about that?
Turn it off!
Low Register (Baritones/Basses)
Lyrics:
Little more speed, little more rope,
Little more wind, little more hope,
Gotta get this stupid kite to fly.
Gotta make sure it doesn't snag
Doesn't droop, doesn't drag
Gotta watch out for ev'ry little- whoops!
Little less speed, little more tack,
Little less rise, little more slack,
Gotta keep my wits about me now.
Gotta make sure it doesn't get the best of me
Till I get it in the air somehow.
Millions of little kids do it ev'ry day
They make a kite and-"poof"- it's in the sky.
Leave it to me to have the one fool kite
Who likes to see a little kid cry.
For the Ladies:
Monologue:
Well, that explains it. That’s why these people treat me like some dime store floozy…They think I’m screwin’ the boss…And you just love it, don’t you? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knockin’ over pencils and pickin’ up papers…Get your scummy hands off of me. Look, I’ve been straight with you from the first day I got here. And I put up with all your pinchin’ and starin’ and chasin’ me around the desk ’cause I need this job, but this is the last straw…Look, I got a gun out there in my purse, and up until now, I’ve been forgivin’ and forgettin’ because of the way I was brought up. But I’ll tell you one thing: if you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I’m gonna get that gun of mine and I’m gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! Don’t think I can’t do it.
Song Selections:
High Register (Sopranos/Mezzos)
Lyrics:
Good morning birds
good morning trees
Oh what a lovely day
The suns so big it burns my eye
but really that's OK
A brand new day
more things to do
so many plans to make
I've had 6 cups of coffee
so I'm really wide awake
I've always been a morning person
a morning girl...
Hurray!
Low Register (Mezzos/Altos/Belters
Lyrics:
I'll be so happy to keep his dinner warm
While he goes onward... and upward
Happy to keep his dinner warm
'Till he comes wearily home from Downtown
I'll be there
Waiting until his mind is clear
While he looks through me
Right through me
Waiting to say
"Good evening, dear,
I'm pregnant.
What's new with you
From Downtown?"
I ought to be loved
By a man I respect
To bask in the glow
Of his perfectly, understandable neglect
I ought to belong in the aura on his frown
Darling busy frown...
>Penguin Goons & Gangsters
